Saturday, June 19, 2021

Closing Myself Off

Saturday, June 19, 2021

When did I start closing myself off from the world, I often wonder. I used to have friends; I used to enjoy the company of others. Now it's only D and my immediate family with whom I interact and whose company I derive pleasure from. Have I always been this way, or did I simply give up on trying to hold on to those friendships, that level of intimacy that physical distance no longer permits? I've realized a long time ago that people don't really care about the minutiae of my life, so I stopped caring as well. And I've accepted that most relationships are superficial and ephemeral, as most things in this world are.

I've withdrawn from other people for so long that I already forgot how to place myself in the context of others. I don't know how to make new friends anymore. At this stage of my life and in this increasingly socially atomized world we live in, I don't think making new friends, real ones at that, is even possible. 

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