Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Luxuriating in Solitude

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

As soon as I heard the announcement of another long weekend, I felt a wave of joy surge through my body. Three days in complete solitude and idleness - what a luxury, I thought. The forecast of incessant rains that would undoubtedly accompany the weekend did not dampen my spirit as the promise of an extra day of quiescence glimmered in the leaden sky. 

Much has been said about the sadness that lurks at the edges of a single person’s life, and what lies at its center is often taken for granted. The luxury of solitude. The utter freedom that goes with living alone. 31, single and independent, I can be who I want; I can do what I want and when I want it. I can spend my days in idleness and boredom or in extreme preoccupation and overcaffeinated enthusiasm, whichever way I want it, without having to worry about anything or anybody else. 

Everywhere I hear whispered, yet still disparaging, allusions to the emptiness of a life spent alone. Society’s assiduous concern with motherhood and marriage as the true essence of womanhood is, sadly, anachronistic and limiting. Seen as an incomplete person waiting to be made whole by that one person out there, am I just a fragment of who I am? Why can’t people stop asking me when am I going to get married? Does it make me a lesser person if I do not ache to hold an infant in my arms? Apart from the glint of a wedding ring on my finger or the presence of a stroller in my house, there are other things that give substance to my existence.


MR. PANGUY-AB said...

hi ma'am, just havin a blog hopping

i like your post!..

'you don't need to put an ice on the water just to make it cold'

good day..:)

Amelia said...

I agree on you Angeli. but probably people are just looking forward for the time that you will have your own child to nurture. sabi nga ng matatanda, "sayang naman kung walang magmamana ng kagandahan at katalinuhan mo kung wala kang magiging anak". I don't known ha but I believe that's the best thing you can give, bearing & having a child is the most wonderful gift you can give to your mom and husband ;)

but it does not make you a lesser person without a child. it's a choice anyway :)

Kayni said...

single is as normal as married. let them worry and keep enjoying life the way you and i want it.

paul said...

kayni, amen.

witsandnuts said...

Well said. =)

jacqueline said...

we all live by the choices we make and the consequences that go with it. and the choices we make are oftentimes based on what we believe is right, and on what would make us happy.

i think you are happy being single. it's a choice you have made, then so be it. :)

Angeli said...

only morris, the American who hangs out at the corner newsstand, had the the effrontery (and the courage!) to ask for my hand in marriage. so it's not really a choice. :) walang nag-aalok kaya walang kasalang nagaganap. LOL

here's my belief: why would i bring a child to this kind of world we have now? and besides, i can't even nurture myself properly, how would i be able to take care of somebody else?

@kayni, paul, wits
thank you. it just becomes so tiring when people expect you to be that person they want you to be, di ba?

@mr. panguy-ab
thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. :)

Anonymous said...

You have little really required of you; peoples' opinions aside. My own view is that we are to breath in and breath out. Everything else is just so much dressing no matter how interesting or exciting: or not so.

People often fail to exercise their intellect. That's not your fault.

Anonymous said...

haha, don't get carried away by the dictates of an unconscious society..they have relegated the essence of being a woman to the lower rung. A wife and child-bearer only? No way! We are the godeszes! We can take care of ourselves without a man, and we can contribute something more to the world apart from bringing in another human being...

and it is a big responsibility to bring in another human being in this already battered planet..I agree, we can't even do much in caring for ourselves plus our fellow living beings,tas magkaka-anak pa tayo ng kadami-dami? haay...

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