Monday, August 11, 2008

Nothing Fazes Me Kind of Girlfriend

Monday, August 11, 2008

Struggling to become that calm, oh-so-strong, nothing-fazes-me kind of girlfriend, I tell myself to breathe in that air of easy unconcern and breathe out my maddening habit of being needy and clingy. My mind’s interior monologue goes like this--So what if he didn’t call? Just shrug it off. Let him do what he wants. So what if you feel alone and your friends are scattered all over the world and there’s nobody to talk to? Just talk to your books. They’re always there for you. So what if he cannot give you the attention that you need or deserve? He loves you anyway. You need to get your mind right. Quit clinging and stop needing!

But it’s hard. My mind’s discourse digresses, puts up arguments and contradicts itself: How can you love a person without needing him? How do you draw the line between “letting somebody in” and “not letting yourself get affected too much”? And more importantly, why do I even have to change in order to fit that preconceived idea of what a man wants for a girlfriend-- the non-clingy, non-needy type?

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. The nothing-fazes-me sort of girl – I’ll be her someday.


Anonymous said...

someday, he'll realize that you need him because you love him, and hopefully he'll give you more attention that you so deserve.

men should realize that there must be something wrong if we, women, stop being needy and clingy... ;-)

Kayni said...

is it a woman thing to be clingy and needy? i really thought there was something wrong with me when i discovered i was sort of a clingy type of person. just thinking =).

artemis said...

I think a woman is more clingy and needy relative to a man just because a woman is usually more emotional than man. But it also depends on the disposition of both people involved.. I just think.. :-)

Angeli said...

Hi Jac. I agree with you. When a man ceases to be the center of my universe, then it means he is no longer even a part of it. He’s been purged out.

Hi Kayni. Being “needy and clingy” has been - accurately or mistakenly - thought of as a character flaw, which drives men away. But then, would they rather have us NOT needing their affection and attention, instead?

Hi Artemis. Gender is probably a strong determinant but I also know of a few men who are as emotionally needy as women.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! its funny how i came across this topic on your website when i was running a random search on google! and so i began to read your post, only to realize that i'm going through the exact same thing. every day, similar thoughts run through my head. or should i say every time... i fight the same battle.. pretend i dont care.. try to act callous, distant, but I just can't.

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