Monday, February 22, 2010

losing it

Monday, February 22, 2010

I was brought up in faith, and I am now trying to understand how and why I lost it. All traces of belief nurtured from within have faded away, supplanted by relentless doubt. In every church service I attended and each hymn that I sang while growing up, a soupcon of doubt lingered. Reading the holy book to find answers to my questions has, instead, stirred up more questions. I tried to hold on, but the nebulous traces of doubt have regrettably and irrevocably crystallized; the futility of holding on overwhelmed me: I just had to walk away. Was it the obduracy of organized religion that made me lose it, or was it my own obdurate nature that made me lose my way?

7 comments:

witsandnuts said...

Sometimes we need to wander in order to find the real way again. You'll be home sooner or later, just have faith. =)

unstranger said...

Just part of growing up Angeli. Some people unfortunately never reach this stage. Well done you. Everything good lies before you now.

Anonymous said...

you did'nt loose your faith, angeli. am pretty sure, God is just waiting for you.

Anonymous said...

may FMS bless you! you can look forward to beer garden and stripper factory. :)

when i was a kid i believed in santa claus. i got over it. it took me a while to get over the adult santa claus.

Amelia said...

wander...wander...wander...will pray that you find your way back to HIM :) have a nice day Angeli

Vitchie said...

..

better to doubt than follow blindly...

Vitchie said...

ps. you're in the right track so don't worry...

 
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