Friday, October 16, 2009

Forgiving

Friday, October 16, 2009

Last night as I was staring at my face in the mirror I noticed the unsightly pockmarks, the faint lines around my mouth and the dark smudges under my eyes that no amount of makeup can conceal. Surprisingly, it did not freak me out as it would have a few years back. I just shrugged it off as an inescapable part of life and went to sleep.

They say that maturity is delayed gratification. I see it as the ability to forgive ourselves, our faults and the overall pell-mell of our lives. As I advanced into my fourth decade in this world, I became more forgiving of my own as well as others’ inadequacies and vulnerabilities; painfully discovering that life is fluid and inchoate, I have learned to accept the ephemerality of objects, people and relationships. The I-can-do-anything-I-can-change-the-world exuberance of my youth has been replaced with irreverence and Sisyphean angst. Chastened to accept the futility and puerility of tilting at windmills, I slowly understood that there are things that we simply cannot do anything about.

Younger, I believed that I only had an outline of a life yet to be filled in. Now older, I realized that it was never filled in, because my life’s details had totally diverged from its original outline. The faint swells of regret suppressed, I now forgive myself for that life not lead.

5 comments:

witsandnuts said...

You seem to always find the right words. =) I'm feeling like this, too. Sometimes I don't worry about eyebags anymore. I think they make us prettier. Heehee.

Angeli said...

oo nga, age does makes us prettier. hahah

Anonymous said...

mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all. you milady. :)

Angeli said...

this beauty is waiting for her prince. hurry home, honey. :)

jacqueline said...

we have probably matured enough and realized it's not worth it to fuss over petty little things? there's more to life than a pimple sitting on the tip of the nose.

 
muffled solitude © 2007-2017. Design by Pocket | Distributed by Blogger Blog Templates