Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bereft of the people you used to wonder with

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Is this what growing old is, when suddenly you realize that all vestiges of childhood have become disjointed memory fragments? Is it when the people who used to hold your life in balance – siblings you’ve endured hard times with, close friends who know you more than you know yourself – have all gone and built lives of their own, leaving you with that unsettling feeling that you’ve been left behind? Because of the distance, the thread that ties you to these people had been stretched so hard that you’re afraid, anytime, it might just snap. What are emails and instant messages when what you yearn for are the things that you used to share with them – the endless laughter; the long chats over coffee, hoping for change to come and wondering what the future will be like. You never thought that the future you were wondering about will be like this - bereft of the people you used to wonder with.

Is this what growing old is, when all you do is lament for and look back on what’s been lost, and not look forward to what may happen, still?

10 comments:

witsandnuts.com said...

Nicely written. This one particularly struck me, "Because of the distance, the thread that ties you to these people have been stretched so hard..." - through time I seemingly lost a very good friend because of the distance. Sometimes, genuine care is not enough to nurture the friendship.

Angeli said...

thank you, jo. :)

it's sad, no? no matter how much you treasure the friendships you've made, physical distance somehow gets in the way.

Artemis said...

reminds me of the charming song: "those were the days my friend..." la la la la la la ....

i feel what you say..

Kayni said...

i go through the same thing - "lament and look back on what's been lost". but also, don't forget to recognize what you've gained and too look forward to the wonders of what to come.

Amelia said...

good old times...

unstranger said...

Heavy stuff. But getting old doesn't mean that entirely. It's perhaps a consequence of living in this faster paced modern society. The opportunities to meet new friends may provide alternatives and of course there's always Skype with cam connect to far away friends.

p.s. Nice and bright site. Good move.

Anonymous said...

reminds me of the song "que sera sera". :)

my advice "laissez rouler les bons temps" (let the good times roll).

mordsith said...

i would have pasted all the sentences in your post here because i exactly feel the same. this one line though, "that unsettling feeling that you’ve been left behind," seemed too familiar and painful.

ekstranghero said...

first off, nice template. :-)

can totally relate, angeli. let me just add, na at this age and time, i tend to look back a lot of times, too, pero there are times when i don't really "look back on what’s been lost..." i look back on what i have learned, experienced, enjoyed, etc, you know, the whole shebang. well, this is the positive ekstranghero talking. sometimes naman, i just sit down, and ask my self -- what the F has happened to me?! hayyy...

jacqueline said...

oh.. this makes me miss my kuya even more... :(

birthday blues... *teary eyed* :(

 
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