Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Taming Demons

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I am a snob. Or so says my boyfriend. And several people of less significance, too. I remember one time when I was still working in the Academy, I heard a group of civilian employees blathering on how I’m so full of myself that I don’t find the time to mingle with them. They were even mimicking how I walk – with the exaggerated upturned chin, the pursed lips, the raised left eyebrow, the chest-out-shoulders-back posture and the always-in-a-hurry-I’m-too-busy-for-you gait. For them my keeping to myself most of the time is tantamount to snobbery. Knowing that there’s some truth to it, a male friend half jestingly accused me of being a hyperliterate cognitive elitist.

By majority opinion and standards, I guess I really am a snob. And it’s something I grapple with everyday. Though I believe—or I delude myself in believing—that I’m not a snob, I still try my damnedest to kill the snob in me, or falling short, to tame it somehow.

It’s like our lives are spent grappling with and trying to tame—in varying degrees and in different ways—the demons inside of us. They come in all sorts of colors, flavors, texture, shapes and sizes. Some days they appear bare naked; other days, in full battle gear; once in a while even in disguise. With inexorable vigilance and meticulously designed tactical maneuver, we win the fight. We are able to whack those devils into submission. But throughout the course of the battle, we sometimes lose. And when we lose, those supposedly tamed frolicking devils are also let loose.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

your kibin-kibin stride can never be mistaken as always-in-a-hurry-I’m-too-busy-for-you gait. :)

...and i am flatulent supercilious claptrap. :)

Angeli said...

my kibin-kibin stride is reserved for joycean treks with my macushla. :)

some wise person told me that farting is a sign of health. so that makes you a very healthy guy, huh? :)

dinadelias said...

The Oxford Dictionary defines a snob as a "person who despises people with inferior social position, wealth, intellect, tastes,etc"... i've known you since high school, you may be aloof, discriminating in taste, and sometimes impatient, but you are one of the warmest, patient, and most accepting people i know--- you may occasionally look down on assholes (LOL), but you were not judgmental or mean....

Angeli said...

mare, you know me too much.. :) thank you. sometimes we need to be reminded of who we really are. :)

jacqueline said...

i don't think you're snob. i believe you're very approachable, and your kumare is right, you are patient too. :)

i guess at times, the "mean girl" in you just can't hold herself back. hehehe...

 
muffled solitude © 2007-2017. Design by Pocket | Distributed by Blogger Blog Templates