Friday, June 13, 2008

Je Ne Sais Quoi

Friday, June 13, 2008

Why is it easier to vent, in written form, the plethora of rages and resentments within us than to express how happy we are? Why is it less difficult to write about our personal feelings of woundedness than to write about the joyous moments in our lives?

Because happiness writes white.

Writing about pain and anger has a soothing, cathartic effect. More than the pitiful glances and unwieldy yet well-meaning efforts of others to comfort me, writing about how I felt gave me a sense of control over things and made the opaque feeling of hopelessness lighten and pass from view.

A few months ago, I spent days with the love of my life that were so beautiful, they leave me speechless. I wanted to write about it but I cannot. I managed some vignettes but every moment was glorious that to even attempt to describe the whole experience would be like an act of desecration. How can I give words to the je ne sais quoi dimension of happiness?

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