Thursday, September 6, 2007

looking back on what has happened

Thursday, September 6, 2007
She had mastered the art of remaining silent about what she thinks and how she feels. She had become blind to everything she doesn’t want to see and deaf to everything she doesn’t want to listen to. It had become useless to talk to a person who would neither refute an argument nor accept it. She had grown wary of provoking his irascible nature. Relentlessly, she asked herself why she keeps holding on. Everybody who cares about her asked her the same thing. She knew all the answers, but still, she didn’t want to let go.

All along, she knew about her and yet she did nothing. Was it out of love or out of fear? Some say love is an act of endless forgiveness. Is love also a persistent act of inflicting unimaginable pain to oneself? Is it unconditional love or self-flagellation?

Her knowledge of his relationship with another woman slowly ate upon her person. How could he say that he loves her and yet say the very same thing to another? How could he possibly live a life of lies upon lies?

She has always trusted him to do the honorable thing – embraced suffering with a martyr’s passion; and patiently waited for nature to take its course or his sense of decency, honor, morality, and conscience to decide on the matter. Her silence, her blindness, her ability to block out everything everybody was telling her – those were her ways to give him a chance to choose and to put to right all he has done wrong.

But it came to a point that she wanted out. She refused to live her life like that any longer. And now she is looking back on what has happened, thankful that it's over, eager to start anew.

6 comments:

Daddo said...

Just notice your new profile picture. Pretty smile, is that after “rinse and repeat” photo? Also, women usually cut their hair after they end a relationship. What gives? Bucking tradition?

Angeli said...

oh, thanks. that tradition is inviolable! :) of course i got a haircut. i used to have ultra long and straight hair. then i thought of having bangs so i had my hair chopped.. and voila!

Angeli said...

by the way, the photo was taken last friday.

Daddo said...

I was expecting a “I am woman, hear me roar” haircut. ;) My excuse for not noticing the new do is the fox’s simple secret. "It is with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." –The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

You look wonderful, marvelous and hot. Get out and play!

Laddies, learn more about her here, meet her requirements here , then give this brainy and beautiful lassie a shout.

Daddo said...

Shout!

Angeli said...

hey, no shouting allowed. use a gentler tone please. :)

 
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